Moment of Glory

I was a very strange child, which I think most of us were. 

If you were not, than something went wrong with your development. Or you are an alien, sent to this earth to spy on us - I can always spot them. They have none of the characteristic irrational and insane human behaviors. Aliens do animals wrong too. For example, my cat is an alien, (it likes water). But this is all besides the point, this entire paragraph is irrelevant. And I completely made up the first sentence (the rest is true). 


I very much loved to put on plays, fashion shows, etc. as a young little sprout. I regularly blessed my family with these spectacular performances. (My sister, however, did not get the fortunate opportunity to witness these productions as an audience member. I forced her to participate in my shows, usually making her play about ten different parts. I didn't think this was much to ask for in support of my superior talent.) 

Rehearsing. My sister not cooperating - I am pretty sure this was a serious piece.

As I was saying, my family had to endure these events, for which I was excessively dramatic and enthusiastic, putting all my focus and energy into my performance. Yet, in spite of my extreme intensity and dedication during these masterpieces, the general public did not get to experience my giftedness.


I was as shy as they come in front of all other people that were not in my immediate family. I think I actually had multiple personalities. All people - adults and children - frightened me extremely.


Example: During a school performance in preschool, instead of standing up and performing the clapping and singing routine I had practiced with the rest of the kids, I chose to remain in my seat and stare out into the audience in complete terror. It actually wasn't a choice at all. My body was literally paralyzed. I could see all the other children prancing around the stage, and it looked somewhat enjoyable. But I was frozen in place, making myself the only child who wasn't participating. I tried so many times to lift my little butt off that chair, but my panic had super-glued me to it.

As soon as the show ended, I switched from panic to humiliation, and immediately ran to my dad, bursting into tears. 

What no one knew, however, was that all I wanted was to be running around on that stage, all eyes on me. But, I was too shy to ever attempt anything like this in public. My brain was confused on what type of personality it wanted me to be. 

Fast forward several years later to me as a 2nd grader. My brain had still not decided, I was exactly the same. My school was holding auditions for the Christmas play - a Jesus version. The scenario reminds me of an episode of 'Raising Hope', except I was too old to audition for the part of Jesus. 

(Raising Hope: Toy Story)

Anyway, all the girls in school were auditioning for the part of Mary, the most coveted female role. You had to sing a solo for the audition. Not my thing, unless it was in my own theater bubble. My mother, however, forced me to audition. While I was waiting for my turn to try out, everyone was talking about how exciting it would be to play Mary. The room was buzzing with commotion and anticipation. 

I sat in silence and fear. Thank the Lord for me, the auditions were held in a private room with just the music teacher, one of the only reasons I agreed to my mother's prodding. I eventually got called in, and I did my thing. I was scared to death, but I managed to squeak the song out for my audience of one. 

So, I didn't get the part, and I told this story for nothing. 

Not. I got the part! It was the best feeling in the world. I was overcome with shock and joy. All the other girls at school were jealous of me, which is every elementary school girl's biggest dream. 

Yes, I did actually go through with the play, despite my phobia. The only way I managed it, was because the auditorium was dark, and I couldn't see anyone in the audience. I just pretended I was by myself. It worked like a charm. 






I did my little solo, (everyone, of course, loved it), and life went on. But I had finally gotten my moment of glory. And have never had one since, because I chose to major in Biology instead of moving to Hollywood and becoming the sensation that I was meant to be.

I also thought I was a model.